What Are Little Girls Made Of?
by Katarin MoonStar
Summary: Sometimes I feel like we're to young for all of this, to feel this much, like I'm not grown up enough. I feel like there shouldn't be enough of me to love you with. Like I should be exponentially larger to hold in all these emotions. Ted Ed warning SLASH


Title: What Are Little Girls Made Of?  
  
Fandom: Radio Free Roscoe  
  
Pairing: Ed/ Ted  
  
Rating: PG-13 (R ish)  
  
Summary: Sometimes I feel like we're to young for all of this, to feel this  
  
much, like I'm not grown up enough. I feel like there shouldn't be enough of  
  
me to love you with. Like I should be exponentially larger to hold in all  
  
these emotions.  
  
Notes: This is set right after "This Just In", if you didn't notice how slashy  
  
Ed and Ted were in that episode, get your hearing and eyes checked and  
  
see it again. (btw if anyone would be able to make a Ted/ Ed icon for me,  
  
I'll right a fic for you, any fandom (provided I know it), any pairing, any  
  
theme, I want an icon, my site is lacking)  
  
Notes part 2: I've decided to name all of my Ted/ Ed stories after ST: TOS  
  
episodes (so for those of you who hate these, I can't write more than 79  
  
without going to another ST series for titles, be brave) this one is Ep. #10  
  
What Are Little Girls Made Of?  
  
"Hey Ted?", I ask, nervously looking everywhere else but at him.  
  
We're lying on my bed and looking at the constellations I have painted on  
  
the roof. "Yeah Ed?" he answers, rolling onto his side, one arm draped  
  
over my chest and his head resting on my chest. He looks up at me and  
  
his eyes reflect nothing but love. "Today when we we're waiting for Lily to  
  
finish her test, you said it was like waiting for our own little girl to come  
  
home from her first day of school," I stammer out only managing to keep  
  
eye contact every 15-25 seconds. "What about it Ed?" he replies, shifting  
  
so that he's practically on top of me. He stays there, holding himself above  
  
me by his arms alone, trying to hold my gaze, but I keep alluding him. "Do  
  
you really think about stuff like that?" I ask him, rolling over so that I'm face  
  
down on the bed. Ted's weight settles onto my back, comforting and warm  
  
and so *right*, I can feel myself get hard just from this alone. "Ed what are  
  
you talking about?" Ted finally asks exasperated. He doesn't roll off me  
  
though, he leans down and begins kissing light patterns across the back of  
  
my neck.  
  
"What I guess I'm trying to ask is, well, umm," I'm really glad I'm  
  
facing the comforter because this way, I can stare at the delicately  
  
replicated scene of Greedo and Han in the Cantina on the coverlet, instead  
  
of wondering how my face could get so red, when it feels like most of my  
  
blood is pumping southwards. "Well umm,  
  
doyoureallythinkaboutusinthefuturelikethat?" I finally manage to get out, but  
  
I know I'll have to repeat it, because even if Ted can speak 'Ed' fluently, he  
  
doesn't speak 'warp factor 9 Ed'. I can feel his mouth open to ask me to  
  
repeat myself, his mouth brushes against the soft hairs at my nape and I  
  
shiver. "Do you really think about us in the future like that?" I clarify, before  
  
he can ask, I rub the lower half of my body against the comforter for a little  
  
friction, and Ted finally gets the clue that I'm hard. "That's not what I meant  
  
when I said it, I mean I'm not really planning our possible children's future  
  
(or children at all really), but I do think about what it would be like. I mean  
  
you and me, together, like this," he thrusts himself against me for  
  
emphasis, poking me softly in the backs of my thighs, "it'd be a dream. I  
  
mean, we always planned to got to MIT together anyways right? This would  
  
just be icing on the cake."  
  
"Icing?" I think to myself, no, this wouldn't be icing, this would be the  
  
entire cake. Hell, this would be the entire menu. Spending my life with Ted,  
  
spending my life *loving* Ted, is all I really want anymore. He thinks  
  
spending his life with me would be icing? Living under a roof, while loving  
  
Ted would be icing, so would having food and breathing. As long as I get to  
  
be with him though, wake up next to him every morning (like we get to on  
  
Sci-Fi sleepover nights), see his face every night before I fall asleep, smell  
  
his scent on me no matter where I am, I'd be content. How can this just be  
  
icing for him. The hard- on I've been cultivating for the last few minutes is  
  
rapidly dwindling, and I can't do anything about it. It's suddenly hit me that  
  
I'm in love with some one who doesn't love me the same, and I'm  
  
powerless to stop it. I'd die before leaving Ted, and if he leaves me, it  
  
would kill me.  
  
Something must show in my body language because before I know it,  
  
Ted's turning me over and rubbing soothing circles on my belly and chest.  
  
"What's wrong Ed?" he asks and my heart nearly breaks with the concern I  
  
hear in his voice. "Liar!" I want to shout, "Charlatan! Impostor! Don't  
  
pretend you love me nearly as much as I love you." I don't say anything  
  
though, I just lie there, soaking up his warmth and soaking in his scent,  
  
Kool-Aid and Comics with just a hint of peanut butter. "Please tell me  
  
what's wrong Ed," Ted's voice breaks into my reverie, "I love you so much  
  
Ed. I can't deal when your upset, please let me help."  
  
"Do you?" I ask him, before I can stop myself, "do you really love me  
  
Ted? How much? How much ICING am I?" my words are spoken softly,  
  
despite their sharp edge. I don't think I want to know the answer. I know I  
  
don't if he can actually quantify it. "What?" Ted asks, slightly befuddled,  
  
"Ed, you have to know that I love you more than anything right?" I make a  
  
noncommittal noise and he straddles me, looking right into my eyes. "I'm  
  
going to say this, and your going to listen, okay, I love you so much it hurts.  
  
Actually, physically, hurts. When I have to go to sleep every night without  
  
you, it takes me forever to feel comfortable. I can't stand my own privacy  
  
because for me, everything that is good and decent and perfect and *right*  
  
is in you. It's in your smell, in your taste, in the feel of you in my arms, god  
  
it's in your very *presence*. Your it for me Ed, and that scares me, a lot. I  
  
mean we're 15 for Christ's sake, we just started high school and I *know*  
  
without a shadow of a doubt, that I want to be with you forever.   
  
Sometimes I feel like we're to young for all of this, to feel this much,  
  
like I'm not grown up enough. I feel like there shouldn't be enough of me to  
  
love you with. Like I should be exponentially larger to hold in all these  
  
emotions. I feel like there can't possibly be enough room for all the love  
  
and warmth and caring and jealousy and annoyance and all the other  
  
billions of emotions that I feel towards you and have room for myself. I feel  
  
like there shouldn't be room for my own thoughts and ideas and emotions,  
  
and I don't really care. I could lose myself in you, so easily, and that scares  
  
me, because if you wanted to take all of me and run with it, I couldn't and  
  
wouldn't stop you. You wouldn't though, and I trust you in that. I know how  
  
much you love me and I'm secure in that. Trust me, okay? I'm still the  
  
same old Ted, just, you know, with the sex now."  
  
I have to smile at that, and I know he's right, we've been best friends  
  
since forever, and even if our sexual relationship is new, this has been  
  
here for awhile. I can trust in this, because I've always been able to depend  
  
on it. It's Newton's 3rd law of Gravity, equal and opposite reaction, I love  
  
Ted, so Ted loves me. I have to smile as I think "physics, it's all around us,"  
  
I wonder what Lily would have though of this example. There really isn't  
  
room for Lily here though, not when Ted is gasping like that and gripping  
  
me like this. Hmmm, this is what I have to look forward to, Ted's  
  
outrageously funny bedhead, possible time as a soccer dad, and those  
  
sweet little noises Ted makes in the back of his throat right before he  
  
orgasms. Wow, I guess it will be a better tomorrow  
  
fin. 


End file.
